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If you bought into the concept of sexual equality and you’re a woman, you probably have a hard time getting or keeping a relationship with men.
Why? Because men are in no way equal, alike or even a little bit similar to women in who they are, what they do, what they find interesting, how they think and operate and what motivates them in life.
This is obvious to most men, but somehow it seems women miss it. They want men to be more like themselves, not understanding what that, in itself, will create for men. Wanting men to act or be like you (sweet, sensitive, talkative, in touch with his feelings) will have you collide with men and leave you feeling that he’s a jerk.
But he’s most likely not a jerk…he’s a man! If you make him wrong for who he is, he will experience you as a disrespectful woman, which will always have him respond negatively. He’ll blow up, or push back, or quietly walk away, sometimes forever. And you’ll blame him for it.
Making men wrong for being men is very popular nowadays, but it is not the way to attract men or get them to stick around. Why would they put up with that?
Equality does not work between men and women when it comes to a love relationship—it goes against nature entirely.
Some things just don’t exist in nature. Men will never be able to have babies. Is that wrong, or is it nature? Women don’t have testes. Is that wrong, or is it nature?
Men’s and women’s brains are as different as a penis and a vagina. There is no “equality” or similarities in how they appear and function. Is anything in the world more obvious? In the same way, men act and are motivated by a different survival system than women are.
The problem with sexual equality is that it creates competition, which kills intimacy and sensuality. Equal rights and equal pay is a no brainer, but equality in love kills a relationship.
Successful relationships are like ballroom dancers: the man leads, and the woman follows. This doesn’t mean she’s a doormat or has no say in the dynamic. It means she gets to hold her own while at the same time let go of control. By trusting her partner and letting him lead, she gets to relax in her feminine essence, where she can enjoy his leadership and her natural flow.
Ironically, the more you let go, the more the man will step up in every facet of your life and relationship. Imagine a life with a man who takes on the responsibilities of work to allow his wife to work part-time. She’s the one who gets to be present to raise their kids and make a comfortable nest for all. For him, home becomes a soft place to land at the end of the day so he can recharge and go attack to fight the world again the next day.
If you fight for equality, the complementarity goes away. The man will have to fight to be respected, and the woman will have to nag to be cherished. At the end of it all, she’ll never feel cherished and he’ll never feel respected, and things will unravel quickly. Two similarly polarized magnets pushing against each other never works!
What works is a complimentary dynamic. Just like magnets, positive and negative attract each other powerfully. Same with ballroom dancers: together in opposition, they create a beautiful complete unit, where he gets to lead and feel like a gentleman, and she gets to follow and feel like a lady. This works naturally, and it’s beautiful to watch. You can see it in couples who have it. It’s a joy to watch.
Hope this helps,
That is how you should approach them.
As a coach, I often get while talking to men that they think Women are too emotional, illogical, unreasonable, disrespectful and often right down …crazy (Sorry). Gee, I wonder why we have problems.
Funny thing is, Men will describe themselves as “not that complicated” and easy to understand.
Well, that’s not true. There are very complex things that have Men function in very specific ways that are not obvious at all…especially to Women.
So for Men to discard Women’s reactions or feelings as erratic or illogical is as helpful as saying “Men are stupid because they can only do one thing at a time.”
Men, I’m here to tell you that if you don’t understand Women’s actions and behaviors, you are setting yourselves up for a world of pain. I’m sure you’ve experienced some of this with Women already. Think about the past for a minute.. ever asked yourself, “What is wrong now?” or “Now she’s not talking to me and I have no idea why!” Right?
Then you ask, “ Are you okay?” and she answers, “ I’m fine” when she obviously isn’t, but now you think she’s playing games and you get annoyed. You ask her one more time a little more frustrated than before. She gives you the same answer… now you’re mad and neither leave the room or the house.
Men, when it comes to Women, I suggest that you approach the whole thing like you would if you had to do business in a foreign culture (BTW it’s equally as important for Men to approach Women like this, as well).
Let me explain.
If you were to fly into Asia for business, you would find a hundred “codes of behaviors” that do not apply to our Western world ways. Does that mean that these codes are insignificant or that they are not important? No. They may be odd to you and me, but if you want to succeed in Asia, you better learn the culture, traditions, and communication styles – both business and personal if you want a chance to succeed in that culture on any level. It’s obvious, right? Studying their cultural style and their “ways” before even going there would be very smart and respectable…and the best way to a successful transaction, deal or experience.
That’s exactly how you want to approach Women. You must know what works for Women in order to succeed with Women (and yes they have to learn about you, too). Knowing how Women function, how their feelings run the show, and why they operate the way they do, is the loving and respectful way to be with Women. It’s also the way to get anything and everything you want and need from Women.
Do I have your attention?
Men, you have the power to turn Women into sweet, fun, respectful and loving, feminine creatures and to have them support you the way you want them to when you understand how they function and what works for them….can you beat that?
Have you noticed that the things that are important to you and that motivate your actions really don’t line up with the things that are important to her and motivate her? I mean…not even close!
The problem is when we, Men, don’t understand Women, we often try to fix or manage them like Men. Which never works…have you noticed?
We want Women to be straightforward, cool headed, emotionally predictable and to not take things personally…well that’s all fine but that’s not a woman…that’s your buddy.
If you want even and predictable…hang with your boys. But that won’t bring you closer to understanding women.
Not understanding or valuing women’s emotions will have you lose every time.
Telling her to stop feeling what she’s feeling won’t get you far either… you’re more likely to end up in the dog house again wondering what happened.
You see, Women are giant “orgasmotrons.” Everything they see, hear, smell, taste and touch makes them feel good or bad. On the spot, immediately. Moment to moment, how she feels is how she experiences life and that is her inescapable reality…ALL THE TIME !!!
They have no choice about this, it isn’t a decision… it just is.
A woman has to feel good to do good, A man has to do good to feel good.
Complete opposition, completely different machines.
If Men need to be respected by Women to be good in the world, then a smart, caring Man generously will learn to cherish women’s feelings as much as he can regardless how illogical, irrational and ever irritating it may seem for Men. This is not easy or obvious to you, but it works.
Do this and Women will show up into your world with love, grace, femininity and connection in a way you have never imagined possible.
That is how you should approach them.
As a coach, I often sense while talking to women that they feel men are shallow or lack depth because they usually don’t talk very much.. or when they do, it’s filled with data and cold facts, which must mean that they’re not very deep or caring either, right? Wrong!
Ladies, I’m here to tell you that if you don’t understand Men’s actions and behaviors, you are setting yourselves up for a world of hurt. I’m sure you’ve experienced this with Men already. Think about the past for a minute.. ever asked yourself, “What was he thinking?” or “I can’t believe he did that (or said that)!” Right?
Then you call your girlfriend to try to figure out what that all meant…. but your girlfriend doesn’t have a Man’s brain. She doesn’t think or operate like a Man; she operates and thinks like you. So how will that help you understand Men? You are both most likely to come to the worst conclusion that will be off by a mile from what your Man’s true reasons were to begin with.
When it comes to Men, I suggest that you approach the whole thing like you would if you had to do business in a foreign culture (BTW it’s equally as important for Men to approach Women like this, as well).
Let me explain.
If you were to fly into Japan for business, you would find a hundred “codes of behaviors” that may not apply to our Western world ways. Does that mean that these codes are insignificant or that they are not important? No. They may be odd to you and me, but if you want to succeed in Japan, you’d better learn the culture, traditions, and communication styles – both business and personal if you want a chance to succeed with that culture on any level. It’s obvious, right? Studying their cultural style and their “ways” before even going to the country would be very smart and respectable… and the best way to a successful transaction, deal or experience.
That’s exactly how you want to approach Men. You must know what works for Men in order to succeed with Men (and yes they have to learn about you, too). Knowing how Men function, how they think, and why they operate the way they do, is the respectful way to be with Men. It’s also the way to get anything and everything you want and need from Men.
Do I have your attention?
Ladies, you have the power to have Men show up the way you need them to when you understand how they work and what works for them….can you beat that?
Have you noticed that the things that are important to you and that motivate your actions really don’t line up with the things that are important to him and motivate him?
The problem for Men is when Women feel that their way is “the way”. To a Woman, if it feels wrong…it’s wrong!
Women can often be self righteous about how Men “should” behave or what they “should” be like or care about in life.
This is typically not intentional– it’s just how it occurs. The problem lies in what it does to Men.
Women believe that Men should be sweet and kind and talkative AND connected to their feelings and emotions and …really??? No, that is a girlfriend. That’s what works for you… not him.
If you want a girlfriend, get a girlfriend.
If you want a Man, learn the culture of Men. There, you will find things like honor, integrity, accountability, respect and loyalty, just to mention a few (yes, some men are broken or don’t live by these traits, but most do.)
These guys don’t play games– they take responsibility for themselves and their actions and choices, they know who they are and they are looking for women who get them. Not women who make them wrong.
You can be attached to how Men “should” be…. or you can discover how great Men “can” be…and/or you can say you’re right and be alone.
Unlike popular belief, men think about everything, all the time. Yep!
This is because men hold themselves accountable for everything that they do. Big and small. Yes! Men pride themselves in what they do …and the processing of every decision is lengthy and profound. Men will process a thought or decision slowly and deeply, and will eventually come out with a decision that may have taken hours or even days to get to. Yes, days sometimes.
Some women have figured this out and seem to get all the goodies with Men. You’ve seen them.
These women typically have put some effort in understanding the culture of Men… so that they can win and be in partnership with Men.
They have figured out how to operate in that culture and respectfully negotiate their wants and needs. By understanding and respecting the culture they get the best of Men and get to be cherished by all Men in the process.
Win-win. Isn’t that the point?
Short answer: we don’t! Most good men are indeed interested in building long-term relationships based on trust, love, and commitment.
Then why does it seem that men are only interested in sex?
This may be because modern women have made it more accessible than ever. For the women who are looking for that long term relationship, what they should realize when searching for a man, is that in order for him to want to protect you and cherish you for life, he must EARN your love. A good man will know that he is YOURS because he EARNED your love and respect, and your trust and affection. That makes YOU the valuable woman he will want to take care of. This is one MAJOR way men respond to women.
Men looking for long term relationships are ultimately attracted to VIRTUE…not VAGINAS.
I know it sounds old fashioned but I didn’t make this up. If you give him “love” (sex) before he “earned it” you often will kill his momentum towards wanting to PROVIDE, PROTECT and CHERISH you. Yes, quick sex usually stunts his emotional investment in you at that moment.
In other words, sex will have him show up with his penis before his mind and stop him from connecting with his heart to go further emotionally. If you’ve been with a man for years and he has no desire to marry you, guess what may be going on. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care for you, but he may just be hanging out until he finds a woman who values herself more. He will be a lot more willing to earn that woman’s love.
This will leave you with a guy who loves to roll around naked…and doesn’t have to do anything for you because he never had a chance to truly WANT TO, because of his lack of emotional attachment. Get it? Same guy with two different results because you slept with him too quickly.
The modern woman has been conned into thinking that sex will get men close to them and then he’ll fall for you…. but it doesn’t happen that way for most men. Author Tracie McMillan says it best: “It’s like working a temp job hoping you’ll get hired full time because you’re so valuable. Hum No!…you’re a temp!”
Your need for intimacy may be the killer pill.…can you see it?
Boys, not men, will love you for the easy, quick, free sex, but these guys will never truly take care of you.
They just won’t and they don’t want to.
Think back, and look over your history with men. Can you spot them? They get what they want without working for it and/or having to earn your love. They hang out for a while…then disappear. Boys do not want the responsibility of your happiness. A good man will. (You should read that phrase again). It becomes a problem when your relationship with a good man goes down the toilet. You often feel used, resentful, angry and you’ll blame him for the downfall.
This situation is created without knowing what you triggered with the quick sex in the first place. Sex after the third or fourth date is too fast to build something on (unless sex is all you want, then go for it). He got lucky. That’s what he’ll tell his friends. Quick sex will get his attention and he’ll stick around for more… because Hell, you’re easy! Unfortunately it will usually not get you his affection. Not long term. You’re a temp!
I think worst of all is what happens to these young women each time they have casual sex or hook up. A small part of them– a piece of their heart, goes away with that guy. I want to make this clear…Ladies, when you have sex, a piece of your heart goes away with that guy when he leaves. Stay with that for a moment… So eventually, in the name of freedom and easy sex, women, who buy into the ideal of extreme sexual liberation, end up feeling empty, used up, betrayed and cannot trust or be vulnerable anymore. Worst of all… they cannot fall in love.
Virtue may be old fashioned, but a good man– a man of character, looks for it. He will always hope for sex, for that’s most likely why he’s on a date with you in the first place. But if you hold back, he will have a chance to get his heart involved and see you as a woman who has boundaries and respect for herself. He will see you as a woman who can resist his charms and efforts to woo you out of your clothes. THAT is attractive to a man looking for a long term relationship. A virtuous woman is safe for him to build a future with, spend his energy, time and resources on.
Sure, biologically speaking, men tend to have a greater sex drive than women do. But men aren’t just looking for sex all the time.. unless of course, that’s the first thing that you choose to give them.
What does it take to kill a man’s attraction?
In my coaching practice, I often hear about things that my clients do to try to win a man’s attention and affection that make me cringe knowing what occurs for men in those instances.
Though these women are totally well-intentioned in doing these things, their actions have a completely adverse reaction on the men that they desire. This is hugely important ladies. What you tend to do naturally to him or for him, you
What you tend to do naturally to him or for him, you do, because it would work perfectly well on you. These things would make you feel connected and close to him.
If a man did this to you….YOU WOULD LOVE IT !!!
The problem is, what works for you actually pushes him away.
Have you ever done these things when you were attracted to a man?
-Initiated contact, text, email or social media, because you wanted him to know you were thinking of him or were wondering if you’d see him soon?
-Made plans for him to show you care: Picked the restaurant, planned a date, cleaned his house, dropped his dry cleaning, walked his dog while he slept in?
-Gave him advice. You know, spent hours talking, listening to his problems and offering “analysis” of what you think he needed to do or feel better in life?
-Bought him cute gifts, offered back rubs and performed a variety of “nice” gestures so he could feel loved and connected to you?
-Told him that you were the only one who truly gets and understands him?
-Said “I love you” before he did?
Now you may be wondering, “How can any of this be a turnoff? These are all wonderful, caring things to do for someone.”
Right? WRONG !!!
These things are wonderful for women but repel men. Especially in the beginning stage of the relationship.
Next thing you know…he starts feeling and acting distant, calls and texts less and less and eventually, he’s gone.
Now you are wondering if there is maybe something wrong with you.
Why do they keep disappearing?
As a man, it is easy to understand why this happens.
You see, men are internally motivated. What this means is men do exactly whatever they want to do and are not very interested in explaining themselves or their reasoning. That is the core of being a Masculine being. So, a masculine man, who likes you and wants to be with you or build something with you, will naturally and automatically put energy and effort toward you. He will reach out, call, text, make plans to see you and take you out. All along gauging how being around you feels to him, how good he feels with you, how fun you are, how compatible with his values or lifestyle you are.If you “get” him (this one is HUGE). This all happens without any effort or manipulation from you. Next, the more he gets to know you, the more he likes you, the more he’s going to want to be around you. Make sense right?
In short, he want to check if you “get” him (this one is HUGE).
This all happens without any effort or manipulation from you. Next, the more he gets to know you, the more he likes you, the more he’s going to want to be around you. Make sense right?
Now, if you call him, text him, make plans for you to meet, see a movie or whatever, you take away his “job” to think about you and make plans for you both. You see… He has to want to be with you for it to “work”. That’s how he builds that internal connection to you. It starts with HIM. Reach out to him, and make plans for him and you kill his
It starts with HIM. Reach out to him, and make plans for him and you kill his “wanting” to be with you. The worst thing about this is, if you keep going after him and
Reach out to him, and make plans for him and you kill his “wanting” to be with you. The worst thing about this is, if you keep going after him and you make it easy for him to be with you or to “have” you…guess what? You will get his attention but ultimately, you as a woman, will never really know if he really likes you.
He’ll stick around for the sex…sure. No brainer but…what did he really have to do to get you?
This is why you’ll be with a guy for a few weeks or months and all of a sudden …he’s gone. It’s not even that he lost interest…it’s more likely that he didn’t really have it in the first place or you killed it before he could find out.
He moves on…you are heartbroken. It all really sucks!
This is why you don’t chase MEN…it just doesn’t work!
The BOYS like to be chased. The little boys want you to do all the work. A masculine man DOES NOT! He may be flattered for a moment but next, you coming after him will be awkward and eventually just irritating. It keeps him from showing up in his natural masculine ways. Men want to feel like men around you.
Ladies, it’s easy: DO NOTHING!
If he likes you….he’ll come after you. This is hard for you because your instinct to connect is very, very strong…I get it !
Still, DO NOTHING!
This way at least you’ll know when he comes after you that he really likes you.
Works for him, works for you.
Let the man be the man!
Wow! What a concept huh?
Better yet, focus on being feminine. That’s what he’s attracted to. A feminine woman… not a dude in a skirt. You go after him….you’re the dude. Masculine men aren’t interested in that !
I can’t say it any more simply.
What are the essentials for long, lasting relationships?
What are the 3 C’s and why are they important?
The 3 C’s are the three elements that are essential for a relationship to work: chemistry, compatibility, and communication. With divorce rates topping 68%, I think it is crucial to talk about these key elements as having good chemistry, compatibility, and communication will bring the harmony and peace back between men and women.
1. Chemistry (Lust)
Chemistry is the first and most obvious element. You and your partner need to be physically attracted to one another in order to be in a relationship in the first place. Chemistry is biological. It happens when your DNA gets excited by the other person’s DNA. It is random but absolutely essential for a long lasting love connection. Warning: too much chemistry, which will have you believe that you found your soulmate, will not work for a long lasting love relationship. Too much chemistry will have you want and need this other person so much that you will not be able to stay authentic or level headed with that person which will eventually cause a collapse of the relationship, typically in a screaming match. (Just remember last time you thought you found your soulmate, the person that felt that you knew them instantaneously…how long did that last and did it end?
2. Compatibility (Like)
Compatibility is the thing that has your lives “line up” together, so to speak. You need compatibility in order to build a relationship. Things in life that fit both of you. Your values, lifestyles, same ideas on child rearing, when you share similar beliefs about money. For some people, religions must match to go long term etc.
3. Communication (Love)
Communication is what can make or break your relationship. In order to maintain a healthy and long lasting relationship, having good communication skills is key. This includes how you communicate, making deals, being able to ask for what you want and what you don’t want, and negotiating time, space, money, sex, support, play, chores, and so on.
The third element is the one that we fail at the most. Communication. I know it’s not sexy, but it is THE way to successful relationships, as made clear by the numerous amounts of data backing this up that I have studied for years.
I started researching this topic for my own sake and marriage. I didn’t want to be another casualty of divorce. I knew that I was committed to my wife and our future together, but even so, we often ended up in difficult situations that I couldn’t understand.
What was happening that I couldn’t see?
After some research, I came to understand a couple of extremely important things that once understood, really helped me navigate and eventually eradicate those difficult situations.
Men and Women don’t function, feel, need, want, and respond the same way. After learning about the specific way that Women think and act, I realized that it did not line up in ANY way with the way that I think and act at all. Whoa!
I also learned that the way we talk and how and why we choose to talk or share don’t line up either.
So what’s going on??? Are we from the same planet? We might as well be different species, as we are in no way a version of each other. I mean.. not even close!
Ultimately, regardless of how we differ, we need to embrace these differences and really try to understand the radical gap between Men and Women in order to come together to relate and communicate effectively. Complimentary dynamic is the magic. Not equality…big difference!
Here are some main differences that I would like to leave with you:
Women are all about their feelings, Men don’t trust feelings.
Women connect emotionally with “talking,” Men talk to pass on data, period.
Women have to feel good to do good, Men have to do good to feel good.
Women want to hear all about it, Men don’t want to talk about it.
Women need to feel connected to have sex, Men connect with sex.
Women’s happiness resides in the state of their relationships; all their relationships. Men’s happiness resides in their accomplishments and their ability to provide and protect their love ones.
Women get depressed when they feel like all they do is give but that they don’t get back while Men get depressed when they feel no one needs them.
Understanding and sharing these differences is the first step towards creating successful long lasting relationships. Along with chemistry and compatibility, communication is the most important and the least understood dynamic at hand.
From the book: Sex 3.0
Written by J.J Roberts with additional thoughts from Andre Paradis
Broadly speaking, there are two types of feminism based on two different map-reads of the word “equality.”The first says that women are as important as men and should not be treated as second class citizens. I call this “type One” feminism, and it gave birth to such splendid movements as women’s suffrage, in which women fought and died to bring to women all over the world the right to vote and the right to run for office.
“Type One” feminism must also be thanked for campaigning successfully for the political and social reform necessary to give women access to social mobility, jobs and careers, and their own financial security.
Of course women should have the right to vote and equal access and opportunities in the workplace. Why? Because, No authority of any kind has any legitimacy whatsoever unless it serves those who submit to it. It doesn’t matter whether the authority is patriarchal, matriarchal, legal, economic or governmental. Painful reminders of the problems of illegitimate authority happen on an almost daily basis.
“Type One” feminism was always bound to succeed because it is just. The battle for the vote and for social mobility and self-sufficiency for women has already been won in modern western society.
But in many countries of the world the battle is very far from won. Women in Saudi Arabia were only recently given the right to vote and stand in elections starting in 2015. Clearly Saudi Arabia is much behind the West, but it’s at least making improvements (although the announcement lost its shine when two days later a woman was sentenced to ten lashes for driving a car).
Women still are not legally allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia, and of course it’s hard to achieve social mobility when you don’t even have physical mobility. The fight in countries such as this will go on, but the outcome will be the same for all of them eventually. Victory for “type One” feminism is inevitable
This brings me to the second map-read of the word “equality,” which says that men and women are the same.
I call this “type Two” feminism.
“Type Two” feminism insists that, apart from a few basic biological differences, gender roles are artificial social constructs propagated by men, who are considered to be the enemy or the oppressors. Thinking of gender roles and biology as artificial social constructs is a self-delusion that can easily be addressed by watching a nature documentary. Of course the best way to perpetuate self-delusion is to band into tightly-knit Aschian conformity cliques and wield shaming language against those who dare to disagree. That is what “type Two” feminists do.
However, to perpetuate this self-delusion is to perpetuate the idea that the genetic imperatives themselves are artificial social constructs.
Fog Alert: Misogynist
This word used to very specifically mean hatred of women.
However, in modern society it’s been hijacked by “type Two” feminists to mean “you’re not compliant with our agenda” or “you said something I disagree with on the subject of gender and now I feel irritated or angry.” Incidentally, the opposite of misogyny is misandry (the hatred of men). Ironically, many “type Two” feminists are misandrists who indulge in the very thing they claim to decry–hatred of the opposite sex.
If you believe and are perpetuating the idea that the genetic imperatives themselves are artificial social constructs and that men are the enemy, you might be able to see at this point that the “enemy” really is nature itself.
“Type Two” feminism fails both men and women. It fails women because it teaches them to give up their beauty and femininity, which is the very thing that gives them high value to men. It fails men not only because unfeminine women are unattractive to them, but because the battle that “type Two” feminists are waging is a “false flag operation.”
A false flag operation is a military term used to deceive the public.
The nature of the deception is that the hostilities appear as though they’re being carried out by parties other than the real ones involved. “Type Two” feminism is a false flag operation in that it claims the genetic imperatives supplied by nature are actually the evil inventions of men. There never was a “battle of the sexes,” because it is not “type Two” feminists vs. men. The battle is “type Two” feminists vs. nature.
Regardless of whether a society is patriarchal, matriarchal or of any nature whatever, it has to serve the needs of everyone. Any authority has to serve both men and women. The betterment of both men and women should be the ultimate aim of any civilized society. This cannot be achieved by campaigning for the rights of 50% of the population at the expense of the other 50%.
The subjugation of either sex through patriarchy, matriarchy, radical feminism, physical violence, or through any other means is a failure of humanity. Life is not a zero sum game.
“Type Two” feminism was nothing more than a war to eradicate gender.
It fosters hatred which is not only destructive but flies in the face of nature and common sense. It’s also why it has no chance of winning and we need to stop this infection from spreading further.
The thing that women need to realize when searching for a masculine man is that in order for him to want to protect you and cherish you for life, he must EARN your love. That’s how it occurs in his head. A good man will know that he is YOURS because he EARNED your love and respect, and your trust and affection. That makes YOU the valuable woman he will want to take care of. This is one MAJOR way men respond to women.
Men looking for long term relationships ultimately are attracted to VIRTUE…not VAGINAS. I know it sounds old fashioned but I didn’t make this up. If you give him “love” (sex) before he “earned it” you often will kill his momentum towards wanting to PROVIDE, PROTECT and CHERISH you. Yes, quick sex usually stunts his emotional investment in you at that moment. In other words, sex will have him show up with his penis before his mind and stop him from connecting with his heart to go further emotionally. If you’ve been with a man for years and he has no desire to marry you, guess what may be going on. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care for you, but he may just be hanging out until he finds a woman who values herself more and he will be willing to earn her love. Ouch! This will leave you with a guy who loves to roll around naked…and doesn’t have to do anything for you because he never had a chance to truly WANT TO, emotionally. Get it? Same guy with two different results because you slept with him too quickly.
The modern woman has been conned into thinking that sex will get him close to you and then he’ll fall for you…. but it doesn’t happen that way for most men. Author Tracie Mc Millan says it best: “ It’s like working a temp job hoping you’ll get hired full time because you’re so valuable. Hum No!…you’re a temp!” Your need for intimacy may be the killer pill.…can you see it?
Boys, not Men, will love you for the easy, quick, free sex, but these guys will never truly take care of you. They just won’t and they don’t want to. Think back, look over your history with men. Can you spot them? They get what they want without working for it and/or having to earn your love. They hang out for a while…then disappear. Boys do not want the responsibility of your happiness. A good man will. (You should read that phrase again) Worst of all, when it goes down the toilet, you often feel used, resentful, and angry and you’ll blame him. This situation is created without knowing what you triggered with the quick sex in the first place. Sex after the third or fourth date is too fast to build something on. (unless sex is all you want, then go for it)…He got lucky. That’s what he’ll tell his friends. Quick sex will get his attention and he’ll stick around for more… because Hell, you’re easy!! Unfortunately it will usually not get you his affection. Not long term. You’re a temp!
How feminism has everyone losing.
Study explains why college women abandon courtship for hook-ups
This study is from the Institute for American Values. by Elizabeth Marquardt..
A new study into American college girls shows that most young women today have bought into the feminist belief that women should be as free sexually as men are. So they go to parties, get drunk so that they can have casual sex with some guy. They will say “oh my gosh, I was so drunk, I hooked up with so and so…” Perhaps not surprisingly, many noted that being drunk helped to loosen one’s inhibitions and make it easier to hook up. A number of students noted that being drunk could later serve as her excuse for the hook up.
A sophomore at Howard University said that “I am kind of learning from a lot of the mistakes that I have made.” At a further extreme, some women saw their future marriage as the reason to experiment widely in the present. A Rutgers University student said,“I think hooking up with different people and seeing what you like and don’t like is a good idea. Because eventually you’re going to have to… marry someone and I’d just like to know that I experienced everything.”
Although it is admirable to take risks and learn from one’s mistakes, these women would probably find it difficult to explain how having your heart broken a few or even many times in your early years — or trying to separate sex from feeling, as in hooking up — is good preparation for a trusting and happy marriage later on.
I think worst of all, what these young women miss is that each time they have casual sex or hook up …a small part of them, a piece of their heart, goes away with that guy. I want to make this clear…Ladies, when you have sex, a piece of your heart goes away with that guy when he leaves. Stay with that for a moment… So eventually in the name of freedom and easy sex, women, who bought into this, end up feeling empty, used up, betrayed and cannot trust or be vulnerable anymore. Worst of all… they cannot fall in love. Wow !!! Thank you feminists type 2 for screwing it all up for everyone (READ ARTICLE HERE:
Virtue may be old fashioned, but a good man, a man of character, looks for it. He will always hope for sex, and that’s why he’s on a date with you in the first place. But if you hold back, he will have a chance to get his heart involved and see you as a woman who has boundaries and respect for herself. He will see you as a woman who can resist his charms and efforts to woo you out of your clothes. THAT is attractive to a man looking for a long term relationship. A virtuous woman is safe for him to build a future with, spend his energy, time and resources on.
Commitment means building a future for a man. A good man will not do this with a woman he can’t trust to be virtuous. You sleep with him to bring him close and (very often) the exact opposite happens. Nice huh?
Quick sex is partay!! Nothing wrong with that, but it won’t get you long term commitment. Again, look into your past. It’s your choice.
Andre Paradis Project Equinox
Young Women and Morality:
How radical feminism has everyone losing.
By: Elizabeth Marquardt
Once a woman abandons femininity for Type 2 Feminism (see article “Good Feminism vs. Bad Feminism”), sex is all that she can use to get noticed by a man. Men are like hiring managers, and courting is like a job interview for the job of marriage and mothering. If a woman tries to get the job by having sex with the interviewer, he isn’t going to hire her since sex has nothing to do with the job. There are children involved, you know – he has to think of them when he makes the hiring decision. But women have been taught to think bad things about men ( savages and rapists) and marriage (is slavery) by feminists – so they don’t even try to understand men, or to respect men, or prepare their character for being a wife and mother. Feminists just don’t understand that basic work is needed to understand men and prepare for marriage.
In a previous post, I explained how feminists wanted to get women to drink like men, have sex like men, and to abolish courtship and marriage. Under the influence of feminism and Hollywood celebrities, women began to choose men to have sex with without any consideration of morality, religion, marriage, etc. They thought that sex was an easy way to trick a man into committing to them without having to treat him like a real person, or to take the demands of marriage and parenting seriously. (They have been taught to value education and careers over husbands and children,). This results in a cycle of binge-drinking, one-night-stands, cheating, co-habiting, breaking-up, stalking, aborting, etc.., until the woman’s ability to trust and love anyone but herself is completely destroyed. And yet these college women somehow believe this is “adventurous”, that it makes them feel “sexy”, and that the experience of being selfish and seeing the worst kind of men acting in the worst possible ways, point blank, somehow prepares them for marriage and motherhood.
Statistics show that often, a young unmarried woman’s biological father was NOT selected by her mother based on his ability to make commitments and moral judgments. Many feminists prefer men who do not judge women morally, nor impose his character on her. But those very things that young unmarried women today seem to dislike most about men, because they fear rejection on moral, are exactly the things that make men good husbands and fathers. They don’t want to be judged or led, so they choose immoral, shallow men— Men who are not firm on morality and character who cannot be counted on to act morally and self-sacrificially. And when they fail and the marriages break up, the children grow up fatherless and may develop negative views of men and relationships.
Every young unmarried woman who chooses a bad man, and then has a bad experience is pushing away marriage with both hands. The more she destroys her ability to trust, love and care for others, the less she is able to be happy and effective in a relationship, marriage and life. Share this