What does it take to kill a man’s attraction?
In my coaching practice, I often hear about things that my clients do to try to win a man’s attention and affection that make me cringe knowing what occurs for men in those instances.
Though these women are totally well-intentioned in doing these things, their actions have a completely adverse reaction on the men that they desire. This is hugely important ladies. What you tend to do naturally to him or for him, you
What you tend to do naturally to him or for him, you do, because it would work perfectly well on you. These things would make you feel connected and close to him.
If a man did this to you….YOU WOULD LOVE IT !!!
The problem is, what works for you actually pushes him away.
Have you ever done these things when you were attracted to a man?
-Initiated contact, text, email or social media, because you wanted him to know you were thinking of him or were wondering if you’d see him soon?
-Made plans for him to show you care: Picked the restaurant, planned a date, cleaned his house, dropped his dry cleaning, walked his dog while he slept in?
-Gave him advice. You know, spent hours talking, listening to his problems and offering “analysis” of what you think he needed to do or feel better in life?
-Bought him cute gifts, offered back rubs and performed a variety of “nice” gestures so he could feel loved and connected to you?
-Told him that you were the only one who truly gets and understands him?
-Said “I love you” before he did?
Now you may be wondering, “How can any of this be a turnoff? These are all wonderful, caring things to do for someone.”
Right? WRONG !!!
These things are wonderful for women but repel men. Especially in the beginning stage of the relationship.
Next thing you know…he starts feeling and acting distant, calls and texts less and less and eventually, he’s gone.
Now you are wondering if there is maybe something wrong with you.
Why do they keep disappearing?
As a man, it is easy to understand why this happens.
You see, men are internally motivated. What this means is men do exactly whatever they want to do and are not very interested in explaining themselves or their reasoning. That is the core of being a Masculine being. So, a masculine man, who likes you and wants to be with you or build something with you, will naturally and automatically put energy and effort toward you. He will reach out, call, text, make plans to see you and take you out. All along gauging how being around you feels to him, how good he feels with you, how fun you are, how compatible with his values or lifestyle you are.If you “get” him (this one is HUGE). This all happens without any effort or manipulation from you. Next, the more he gets to know you, the more he likes you, the more he’s going to want to be around you. Make sense right?
In short, he want to check if you “get” him (this one is HUGE).
This all happens without any effort or manipulation from you. Next, the more he gets to know you, the more he likes you, the more he’s going to want to be around you. Make sense right?
Now, if you call him, text him, make plans for you to meet, see a movie or whatever, you take away his “job” to think about you and make plans for you both. You see… He has to want to be with you for it to “work”. That’s how he builds that internal connection to you. It starts with HIM. Reach out to him, and make plans for him and you kill his
It starts with HIM. Reach out to him, and make plans for him and you kill his “wanting” to be with you. The worst thing about this is, if you keep going after him and
Reach out to him, and make plans for him and you kill his “wanting” to be with you. The worst thing about this is, if you keep going after him and you make it easy for him to be with you or to “have” you…guess what? You will get his attention but ultimately, you as a woman, will never really know if he really likes you.
He’ll stick around for the sex…sure. No brainer but…what did he really have to do to get you?
This is why you’ll be with a guy for a few weeks or months and all of a sudden …he’s gone. It’s not even that he lost interest…it’s more likely that he didn’t really have it in the first place or you killed it before he could find out.
He moves on…you are heartbroken. It all really sucks!
This is why you don’t chase MEN…it just doesn’t work!
The BOYS like to be chased. The little boys want you to do all the work. A masculine man DOES NOT! He may be flattered for a moment but next, you coming after him will be awkward and eventually just irritating. It keeps him from showing up in his natural masculine ways. Men want to feel like men around you.
Ladies, it’s easy: DO NOTHING!
If he likes you….he’ll come after you. This is hard for you because your instinct to connect is very, very strong…I get it !
Still, DO NOTHING!
This way at least you’ll know when he comes after you that he really likes you.
Works for him, works for you.
Let the man be the man!
Wow! What a concept huh?
Better yet, focus on being feminine. That’s what he’s attracted to. A feminine woman… not a dude in a skirt. You go after him….you’re the dude. Masculine men aren’t interested in that !
I can’t say it any more simply.